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Saturday, January 3, 2015
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
A broken Horse and a Broken Girl
God sent me to Autumn's ReRide Youth Ranch for a month. I had no idea before I got there what would happen. I really needed more hands on with the horses, because God has called my husband and I to serve in ranch ministries and so I knew I better get my hands on experience. Many of you may not know but I had never met Rebecca Christians until she picked me up at the airport July 28th. In 2009 we were at the same information clinic at CPYR and she had told me she had stood behind me in a line but we never spoke. It was not until after I left the ranch another gal I now have become good friends with Rachel Shultz said you gotta see this women's website and so I went and read her testimony and I knew this was a women I needed to be in touch with, so we have been in communication a lot the last 2 years. God is good!
While I was at the ranch I met a broken horse Asher his name means to bless. He was rescued from a lady who had no idea how to feed him so she was starving him to death because he had no proper nutrition. He is a big horse probably 16 hands so he was almost at death and 300 pounds or more underweight. Asher when he came was so starved, he had to be fed 5 times a day. Since he has come to Autumn's ReRide Youth Ranch he gained 300 pounds, he still has some ribs showing but he's so much better health then he was when he came. Asher is deaf and almost blind with cataracts, he has a swayed back from age, and he worked hard his whole life and from the poor nutrition. He is also 40 plus years and has no teeth. When I look at Asher I see him as the most beautiful horse God ever made. I do not see him with flaws I see him in the same eyes God looks at us. Out of all the horses on the ranch I chose Asher and He chose me.
God had brought this special animal into my life to help me bring down the walls I had built up. My first time grooming Asher I did not want to be there, I felt like a caged animal trapped and no where to go. I did not want even this horse to pull down my walls of protection. I knew by spending time with him Asher that God would use him to tear them down. I was scarfed so I just wanted to run. So I half brushed him and said I was done but Rebecca who was sitting with her back to me told me I was not. I was ticked off, I needed to be done now, I wanted to run and hide and be by myself where I felt comfortable and this was way out of my comfort zone. So I stayed and Rebecca told me I was not there for me. Asher he really needed me to brush and care for him. So I stayed longer but not letting anyone in. I then was done and even though I was not Rebecca let me go, I was going anyways I was not staying.
Everyday I would help feed the horses I would run to the pasture to see Asher, so even though my heart was closed to Asher, God used Asher to make me want to spend more and more time with him. Even though he was almost blind and deaf I knew he could hear me through my touch. He could smell me and he came to seek me out as well. Its funny one day standing in the pasture God told me that how I loved spending time with Asher I felt like a little kid running to see him as often as I could, was how God wants me to feel when I see Him. God wants me to crave my time to spend with Him. I accepted Asher for whom he is an old broken horse I did not care how he looked, I just wanted to be with him. Asher has had much healing at the ranch, he craves human attention so much that when you brush him he wants more and more. Our relationships with Christ need to be like this, that we want more and more of Him.
The more time I spent with Asher the more my walls came crashing down but I did not care I just wanted to be there for this old horse. When he didn't want to eat because it was too hot or his hoof hurt I would talk to him pray for him and encourage him. Mmmmm! who does this sound like. He would go back and try and eat more and more often then not would finish his food. He did not have teeth so he had a mush to eat morning and night. In this pic you see him eating hay, he cracked me up he loved eating hay but can you imagine eating hay with no teeth, so he would get lots and lots in his mouth look like he was chewing lots and then open his mouth and a big ball of hay would come out. He felt so good when he had hay that Rebecca feeds it to him as well as the rest of the herd.
You often could find this horse paired up with his buddy and companion Sissy who protects him. They hang around all the time.
This is Rebecca out hanging out as well.
God showed me so many things by putting such an awesome sweet horse in my life. He tore down those walls of protection, what good are they anyways if my life is so out of control. He gave me a heart and soul for this horse no matter what flaws Asher has. To me Asher is so beautiful. God made me humble and when all of that came together God told me now I was teachable for what He wants for me in my life. God has put so many awesome people in my path and He is teaching me everyday that my life is worth something and that I am so precious in His eyes. God does see me as broken down, unhealed, useless human being. My friend Rachel recently gave me a present which hit me hard in my heart. Its a necklace of a horse and a little bird. The bird is a sparrow, she tells me often God even loves the little sparrows.
" Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns. And yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they?" Matthew 6:26
So I look at my necklace and am reminded how much I am loved. It's hard for me to accept I am who God sees me as. I now am a broken girl who is receiving healing who for the first time in my life knows my past was tough but what good God has used it for now. The bad things in my past do NOT define me only God's goodness and His hope and redemption are what I want in my life now. I'm letting go of it all and willing for God to use me in helping others for me to learn what true inner healing is all about. It does not come easy but it is so rewarding and I have struggled with something for a long time since 10 years old and now learning how to become free of it.
I praise God for giving me second, third and fourth chances so glad He never gave up on me. I came home from the ranch a new women, I have this high like when you first accepted Christ into my life, my eyes were opened, my walls crushed and broken and my soul restored and refreshed.
My best friend Asher.
My necklace my horse and my sparrow.
While I was at the ranch I met a broken horse Asher his name means to bless. He was rescued from a lady who had no idea how to feed him so she was starving him to death because he had no proper nutrition. He is a big horse probably 16 hands so he was almost at death and 300 pounds or more underweight. Asher when he came was so starved, he had to be fed 5 times a day. Since he has come to Autumn's ReRide Youth Ranch he gained 300 pounds, he still has some ribs showing but he's so much better health then he was when he came. Asher is deaf and almost blind with cataracts, he has a swayed back from age, and he worked hard his whole life and from the poor nutrition. He is also 40 plus years and has no teeth. When I look at Asher I see him as the most beautiful horse God ever made. I do not see him with flaws I see him in the same eyes God looks at us. Out of all the horses on the ranch I chose Asher and He chose me.
Everyday I would help feed the horses I would run to the pasture to see Asher, so even though my heart was closed to Asher, God used Asher to make me want to spend more and more time with him. Even though he was almost blind and deaf I knew he could hear me through my touch. He could smell me and he came to seek me out as well. Its funny one day standing in the pasture God told me that how I loved spending time with Asher I felt like a little kid running to see him as often as I could, was how God wants me to feel when I see Him. God wants me to crave my time to spend with Him. I accepted Asher for whom he is an old broken horse I did not care how he looked, I just wanted to be with him. Asher has had much healing at the ranch, he craves human attention so much that when you brush him he wants more and more. Our relationships with Christ need to be like this, that we want more and more of Him.
The more time I spent with Asher the more my walls came crashing down but I did not care I just wanted to be there for this old horse. When he didn't want to eat because it was too hot or his hoof hurt I would talk to him pray for him and encourage him. Mmmmm! who does this sound like. He would go back and try and eat more and more often then not would finish his food. He did not have teeth so he had a mush to eat morning and night. In this pic you see him eating hay, he cracked me up he loved eating hay but can you imagine eating hay with no teeth, so he would get lots and lots in his mouth look like he was chewing lots and then open his mouth and a big ball of hay would come out. He felt so good when he had hay that Rebecca feeds it to him as well as the rest of the herd.
You often could find this horse paired up with his buddy and companion Sissy who protects him. They hang around all the time.
God showed me so many things by putting such an awesome sweet horse in my life. He tore down those walls of protection, what good are they anyways if my life is so out of control. He gave me a heart and soul for this horse no matter what flaws Asher has. To me Asher is so beautiful. God made me humble and when all of that came together God told me now I was teachable for what He wants for me in my life. God has put so many awesome people in my path and He is teaching me everyday that my life is worth something and that I am so precious in His eyes. God does see me as broken down, unhealed, useless human being. My friend Rachel recently gave me a present which hit me hard in my heart. Its a necklace of a horse and a little bird. The bird is a sparrow, she tells me often God even loves the little sparrows.
" Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns. And yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they?" Matthew 6:26
So I look at my necklace and am reminded how much I am loved. It's hard for me to accept I am who God sees me as. I now am a broken girl who is receiving healing who for the first time in my life knows my past was tough but what good God has used it for now. The bad things in my past do NOT define me only God's goodness and His hope and redemption are what I want in my life now. I'm letting go of it all and willing for God to use me in helping others for me to learn what true inner healing is all about. It does not come easy but it is so rewarding and I have struggled with something for a long time since 10 years old and now learning how to become free of it.
I praise God for giving me second, third and fourth chances so glad He never gave up on me. I came home from the ranch a new women, I have this high like when you first accepted Christ into my life, my eyes were opened, my walls crushed and broken and my soul restored and refreshed.
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